When we think about life’s major milestones—birth, weddings, graduations—we often plan them with great care, down to the smallest details. But when it comes to one of the most significant transitions of all, the end of life, planning is often overlooked or avoided altogether. As an end-of-life doula, I’m here to change that narrative.
I recently had the privilege of joining Alzheimer's and Dementia Resource Group's Robin Roundtree and Edith Gendron on the Informed Aging podcast, where we explored what it means to support individuals and families through life’s final chapter. Our conversation touched on common questions, misconceptions, and the deeply human experiences that come with facing the end of life.
What Is an End-of-Life Doula?
Think of a birth doula—someone who offers guidance and support during the beginning of life. An end-of-life doula offers similar support, but for the opposite threshold. I provide non-medical, compassionate care tailored to both the individual who is dying and their loved ones. This includes emotional and spiritual support, practical and logistical guidance, and educational resources to help families navigate the process with clarity and peace.
How Is This Different from Hospice?
This is one of the most common questions I receive, and I truly value the opportunity to clarify it. Hospice and end-of-life doulas complement each other beautifully. Hospice provides medical care, covered by Medicare, with a focus on comfort rather than curative treatment. They have doctors, nurses, and social workers on staff, but due to caseloads, their time with each patient can be limited.
As a doula, I’m not bound by medical regulations, which means I offer something incredibly valuable—time. Time to sit with families, to listen, to answer questions, and to support them emotionally and spiritually in ways the medical system often can’t.
The Gift of Early Planning
While my role often begins after a terminal diagnosis, I encourage people to engage in end-of-life planning long before it’s needed. Conversations about advanced directives, healthcare surrogates, and personal wishes shouldn’t wait until a crisis. In fact, the earlier these discussions happen, the more empowered and at peace individuals and their families tend to feel.
During the podcast, we discussed the importance of advanced directives—not just the basics like CPR preferences, but detailed decisions about treatments such as feeding tubes, ventilators, and even specific plans for dementia-related care. Tools like the Dartmouth Dementia Directive and the Dementia Values and Priorities Tool from Compassion & Choices can help add clarity to these decisions.
Choosing the Right Healthcare Surrogate
Another key point we covered is how to choose the right person to carry out your healthcare decisions if you’re unable to speak for yourself. It’s not always the closest family member who’s best suited for this role. Sometimes, the person who loves you the most might struggle with honoring difficult decisions. That’s why I help families have open, honest conversations—asking questions like, “Can you carry out my wishes, even if it’s hard?”
Why This Work Matters to Me
My path to becoming an end-of-life doula is rooted in personal experience. After losing my mom nearly eight years ago, I felt a deep pull toward this work. Volunteering with hospice introduced me to the role of a doula, and it resonated with me on every level. I realized how transformative it could have been for my own family, and now I have the honor of providing that support to others.
What I’ve witnessed time and again is that at the end of life, all that truly matters is love—who we love, how we’ve been loved, and the connections we’ve nurtured. Being present in those sacred moments isn’t depressing; it’s profoundly beautiful.
How I Can Support You
My services are flexible, designed to meet you where you are. Whether you need help completing advanced directives, support navigating a terminal diagnosis, guidance through the active dying process, or simply someone to hold space for difficult conversations, I’m here. Together, we can approach the end of life with the same intentionality and reverence we give to all of life’s other milestones.
Listen to the full podcast here: Your Final Milestone